Officer Darlene Harris, the Atlanta Police Department’s LGBT liaison, says speaking out about being intersex is part of her mission to educate and inform. (Photo by Bo Shell)
Bold stand After living her entire life as a woman, Atlanta Police Officer Darlene Harris learned she is intersex. Now she’s going public with her journey
Growing up in Spanish Harlem in an abusive household, shuffled between foster homes and nearly killed when shot in the face a decade ago, Atlanta Police Officer Darlene Harris faced considerable struggles growing up.
Harris’ mother, who suffered from lupus and numerous other medical issues, spent much of her time in the hospital. She died at the age of 40 when Harris was 17, forcing Harris and her older sister to raise their younger siblings.
“We were literally dirt poor. I remember eating oatmeal cookies for dinner,” Harris said.
Harris, now 35, over came all of these hardships and built a successful career with the Atlanta Police Department, where she currently serves as the department’s full-time liaison to lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgenders.
But Harris still faced an internal struggle nobody knew about — one she never understood until just this year. During puberty, she began growing facial and chest hair. She never had a regular menstrual cycle. Emotionally, she said, she had a rage that couldn’t be controlled.
Now she knows why her experiences were more different than others. She was “uniquely different” because she is intersex.
Numerous medical tests earlier this year revealed Harris’ testosterone levels were much higher than the range for even the average male. At first, the doctor worried Harris may have brain tumors because her testosterone levels were so high. Harris then began months of medical testing with an endocrinologist that eventually concluded with a chromosome test that revealed Harris had the XY chromosome — the male chromosome. But she also had female reproductive anatomy.
For Harris, who has identified as female her entire life, finding out she is a male genetically felt like a heavy burden being lifted from her shoulders. Finally, she had an explanation for why she felt so different from everyone else, even sometimes within the queer community.
“When I came out as a lesbian, the women I dated would say something’s not right. I’d say I’m fine, you’re just small,” Harris said, referring to her anatomy. “Of course, I said that to feel comfortable with myself.”
After being diagnosed as intersex, “I cried and cried,” Harris recalled. “But now I knew what it was.”
Her journey to peace within was starting.
At first reluctant to go public, Harris said prayer and faith helped her realize that because she is unique, her life journey is an important one to share. She wants to make sure other intersex people know they are not alone.
“I didn’t choose to be who I am, I am who I am,” she said. “My creator has a funny sense of humor. We’re all so uniquely different and the core of me comes from my beliefs.”
HARRIS 'GREAT ROLE MODEL'
Harris said right now she is not concerned with what pronouns people use to identify her — “he” or “she” is fine. While she has the option to legally change her birth certificate to male, Harris said she is not going to take that route because she has lived her life so long legally and socially as female. She is, however, considering changing her name to a more gender neutral one.
“I decided not to ‘change over.’ I’m going to be who I am,” Harris said. “I have prayed and I need to be comfortable in my skin. Some may think it’s better to change over. At this point, after two kids, I don’t want to go through the situation explaining. I choose to stay this way.”
Being intersex, Harris explained during a pre-Pride event held July 3 by Atlanta City Councilmember Lamar Willis, is when “your body is in direct contradiction to what your insides say. You may have a female body, but inside you are male, or you may have a male body, but inside you are female.”
Approximately 20 people attended the intersex workshop held by Harris, the first time she shared her story in a public forum.
“I think it's great that an event was sponsored to bring attention to this [Officer Harris's coming out] and intersex as a whole,” said Dionne Bates, a psychotherapist who attended the July 3 workshop. “Officer Harris provides a great role model for the intersex community. A real positive influence for those who are unseen.”
And because Harris is black, there is an added dimension to her being public about such a private issue, Bates added.
“In the black LGBT community especially, the term 'same-gender loving' is used a lot, but people need to understand that there is a difference between sex and gender, they are two totally separate things,” she said. “Our sex is what we are, gender is what we perform [for society].”
INTERSEX VARIATIONS
There are numerous variations to being intersex, and Harris is set to undergo more testing with a reproductive endocrinologist.
Curtis Hinkle, who founded Organization Intersex International five years ago, said at last count, he understood there were approximately 80 variations of being intersex, some extremely rare.
It’s important to note that chromosomes are not the only indication of a person’s sex, he said. All people begin as female as a fetus; sex characteristics begin to develop as the fetus grows. At approximately the two-month stage, doctors can typically determine if the fetus will be born as a boy or girl.
However, there are other sex markers, including hormones, genitalia, gonads, ovaries, body hair and even brain development, that must all be factored in to determine a person’s sex. Being intersex — not having distinct male or female sex markers — is very complex, Hinkle added.
“I have met many hundreds of intersex people and many don’t find out until later in life,” said Hinkle, who is intersex. “It’s important the general public understands nature did not create a world with only male and female, a world with only two sexes. If the general public can’t understand that, we will continue to be invisible and subject to surgeries and hormone treatment we may not want.
“I am touched by this story because I also live in the South and I admire someone living so close who can be so open,” added Hinkle, who lives in Spartanburg, S.C. “It is important people be educated about this issue and I admire [Harris’] courage.”
As a child, Harris said her mom used to tell her she was “supposed to be a boy” because that’s what an amniocentesis test revealed. And while her father called his other daughters “pretty,” he always said Harris was his “handsome daughter.”
“And that used to bug me. I didn’t understand,” she said.
Harris shared childhood memories of being potty-trained and always standing up to use the restroom. Her mother begged her to si
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christopherclay on 7/11/0811:04 PM:
I think your awesome for what you are doing. Not only are their allot of people that need you their are allot of young people that need to here your story it may help them with what ever they are going through. GOD BLEES YOU. I'LL SEE YOU IN HEAVEN!!!!!!!!
ATLguy65 on 7/12/086:23 PM:
I highly value Officer Harris' willingness to come out
about this because it was such an educational experience
reading about it. Her openness leads to understanding.
One question I must wonder aloud: how many people
may be out there who are intersex at the chromosomal
level but don't know it?
undoinggender on 7/14/083:27 PM:
A good place to find out more about intersex and how many people are, visit Intersex Society of North America (which recently closed its doors) at http://www.isna.org/faq/frequency
Smiley on 7/14/083:49 PM:
Folks, there are plenty of ways to educate people without causing them to run screaming in horror out of the classroom. If one wants to talk about being intersexed in a meaningful way, surely there is a way to do it without spouting off to the world at large about having huge genitalia, a hairy chest, etc.? These kinds of details might be of interest to your gynecologist, but are way too much information for me. Also, this kind of unnecessary emphasis adds fuel to the fire of the right wingers, who just love to portray GLBT folks as having nothing on the mind but sex. Bad cop, no donut.
ATLguy65 on 7/15/0812:54 PM:
Poor Smiley. Your shame is shameful. This topic isn't
covered nearly enough! Thank you, again, Darlene, and
thank you Southern Voice for helping bring such an
obviously misunderstood issue to the public.
angrydyke on 7/15/085:19 PM:
she's hot :)
Smiley on 7/15/085:39 PM:
AtlGuy, it's not about shame. It's about decorum (look it up) and class. I am out and proud, but don't feel the need (and respect others' desires not to have to hear) the gory details about my sex life, my body parts, etc. Furthermore, I hardly think that the most interesting thing about myself is that I'm gay. I don't know Officer Harris, but would hope that her genitalia are not the most interesting thing about her. And, I may be obtuse, but I still don't get what the heck this has to do with police work. It's a personal issue, just like the police spokesperson said.
robertm on 7/21/0812:54 PM:
Darlene,
What I read in this article is your journey to discover who you are, and by your sharing trying to educate others, including myself who lack knowledge and background with people in the intersex community, about what being intesex is, and the meaning of finding out who you are in your journey. Thank you for having the courage to do so, and God bless you on your journey.
