Anti-Valentine’s Day wishes Freedom to Marry Week never caught on in Ga., but that shouldn’t stop us from fighting for the rights of gay couples — or staying vigilant for actions that set us back.
Ten
years
ago
next
week,
my
best
friend
and
I
were
hurtling
down
a
South
Georgia
highway,
gorging
ourselves
on
garish
pink
cupcakes,
on
the
way
to
the
beach
to
celebrate
our
newly
invented
favorite
holiday:
Anti-Valentine’s
Day.
We
had
both
ended
long-term
relationships,
and
wanted
to
be
as
far
away
as
possible
from
the
doily-decorated
disgustingness
of
our
coupled
friends.
So
we
decided
to
keep
the
one
thing
we
liked
about
Valentine’s
Day
—
the
unbridled
consumption
of
sweets
—
and
dump
the
rest.
Our
hopes
of
balancing
our
sugar
intake
with
walks
on
the
beach
were
spoiled
by
rain,
but
that
just
seemed
to
fit
the
mood
of
the
holiday.
Housebound,
we
had
nothing
better
to
do
than
drink
beer,
eat
chocolates,
and
sing
along
to
our
inaugural
Anti-Valentine’s
mix
tape,
a
collection
of
bitter-girl
anthems
like
Ani
Difranco’s
“Untouchable
Face.”
Little
did
I
know,
I
wouldn’t
linger
long
in
the
single
world,
as
I
met
my
life
partner
just
a
few
months
later.
By
the
next
February,
our
relationship
was
far
enough
along
that
I
invited
her
to
join
the
second-annual
Anti-Valentine’s
Day
trip,
and
was
relieved
to
see
that
she
disliked
the
holiday
it
spoofed
as
much
as
I
did.
PERHAPS
MY
PROBLEM
IS
THAT
there
may
be
no
other
holiday
as
potentially
gay
—
but
not
actually
gay
—
as
Valentine’s
Day.
The
same
year
my
friend
and
I
created
Anti-Valentine’s
Day,
national
gay
activists
founded
Freedom
to
Marry
Week,
celebrated
this
year
from
Feb.
11-17.
Designed
to
coincide
with
Valentine’s
Day,
the
week
is
marked
by
gay
couples
applying
for
marriage
licenses
at
government
offices,
then
using
the
inevitable
denials
to
call
attention
to
marriage
inequality,
as
well
as
holding
forums,
rallies
and
other
special
events.
Now
celebrating
its
10th
year,
Freedom
to
Marry
Week
never
caught
on
in
Georgia,
although
activists
here
held
a
moving
Valentine’s
Day
rally
on
the
steps
of
the
State
Capitol
in
2004,
as
the
state
legislature
debated
an
ultimately
successful
constitutional
amendment
banning
gay
marriage.
No
events
are
planned
in
Georgia
this
year,
according
to
the
websites
of
the
Freedom
to
Marry
Coalition
and
Don’t
Amend,
the
two
groups
that
sponsor
the
week.
Given
how
distant
the
fight
for
gay
marriage
feels
from
the
political
reality
of
Georgia,
that’s
understandable.
But
as
people
singled
out
by
society
for
how
we
love,
a
day
that
celebrates
couples
could
be
a
venue
for
us
to
make
powerful
public
statements
about
the
validity
of
our
unions.
If,
like
me,
you
find
it
hard
to
embrace
the
gay
potential
for
Valentine’s
Day
when
you
are
submersed
in
the
Hallmark-card
heterosexual
sentimentality
that
envelopes
it,
take
a
look
at
the
Valentine’s
stories
submitted
by
Southern
Voice
readers,
starting
on
page
25.
They’re
proof-positive
that
our
relationships
deserve
celebration,
too
—
and
not
just
on
one
special
day
of
the
year.
A
disappointing
ally
Unfortunately,
the
days
leading
up
to
Freedom
to
Marry
Week
haven’t
exactly
been
filled
with
good
news
for
gay
couples.
We
should
all
send
heartfelt
Anti-Valentine’s
Day
wishes
to
San
Francisco
Mayor
Gavin
Newsom,
who
last
week
held
a
press
conference
to
admit
he
had
an
affair
with
the
wife
of
his
campaign
manager.
Newsom
was
himself
in
the
midst
of
a
divorce
at
the
time
of
the
fling.
“I
am
deeply
sorry
and
am
accountable
for
what
has
occurred
and
have
now
begun
the
process
of
reconciling
it
and
will
be
working
aggressively
to
advance
our
agenda
in
the
city,’’
Newsom
told
reporters
Feb.
1.
Newsom’s
admission
doesn’t
help
our
agenda
either.
The
young
mayor
of
the
nation’s
gayest
city
made
headlines
worldwide
five
weeks
after
he
took
office
in
2004,
when
he
ordered
the
city
to
begin
granting
marriage
licenses
to
same-sex
couples.
More
than
3,000
gay
couples
wed
before
courts
forced
the
city
to
stop
performing
the
marriages.
The
California
Supreme
Court
later
ruled
the
weddings
invalid,
but
the
images
of
hundreds
of
gay
and
lesbian
couples
lining
up
on
the
steps
of
City
Hall
each
day,
greeted
by
flowers
and
cards
sent
from
supporters
around
the
world,
remain
a
poignant
testimony
in
the
fight
for
marriage
equality.
That’s
what
makes
Newsom’s
admission
so
disappointing.
Like
former
President
Bill
Clinton
and
former
Atlanta
Mayor
Bill
Campbell,
Newsom
was
a
straight
ally
with
enormous
influence.
These
men’s
willingness
to
speak
out
for
us,
from
their
respective
political
bully
...
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